Friday, June 06, 2008

Somebody spoke and I went into a dream...

I had a nightmare last night.

This is not a very common experience for me. Most of my dreams involve unicorns and puppies.

Last night's dream was so bad that after waking up at 5 am, I couldn't fall back asleep, which usually isn't a problem for me at such an ungodly hour.

I'm sure you're now asking yourself what subconscious thoughts could have possibly caused me such great anguish. It wasn't monsters or demons or even sweet potatoes.

It was the iPhone.

In case you haven't heard, iPhone v.2 is almost certainly going to be announced on Monday. Rumors about the One Gadget to Replace Them All, which I've been obsessively following for weeks, all point to a line up of features that address the initial model's shortcomings. As much as I've wanted one since they were first announced almost 18 months ago, I've held off for a variety of reasons, but following the expiration of my Verizon contract in March, the demise of my old iPod in April and the maelstrom of rumors in May, I have been overrun by an urge to part with hard earned money for the shiniest of the shiny.

Clearly, as evidenced by my dream, this longing has seeped deep into my subconscious. The result of said seepage, however, was not pretty.

Most of the details are fuzzy, but what I remember most about the dream was opening the box to find a phone that fell short of expectations. In this case, short is probably an understatement. The device I removed from the box resembled something like this, only it flipped open to reveal more of the latest in 1980s technology.

I was crushed. And in my dreamy despair, I began frantically scouring eBay for a replacement, only to find that all of the older iPhones were being snatched up for thousands of dollars by disappointed folks like me. And that's when I finally cracked and woke up.

What's the takeway, aside from the fact that I'm a dork? Either I need more perspective in life, or Steve Jobs better not disappoint on Monday.


Freemarket said...

I don't think anyone was disappointed. They are so cool I might even get one.

Anonymous said...

Yep - you're a dork. And a snobby yuppy elitist materialistic shallow ridiculous pompous amorphous ludicrous impetuous incredulous nebulous amphibious delirious callous scurrilous jealous envious devious geek!

Get a life!

Anonymous said...

Is there anything more dangerous than a angry person with a thesaurus?

Freemarket said...

Amphibious? Really?

hayduke said...

I kind of like amphibious.

Freemarket said...

Apple is being less than honest in talking about the "price drop" of the iphone. Although the price of the phone dropped, the monthly price of the 2 year contract increased by $10 a month, which of course is an increase of $240.

Hayduke said...

Not to sound like a total shill for Apple (or a guy who's trying to justify an iPhone purchase), but the increase cost of the monthly plan is for the increased data speeds of the new 3G phone. Apparently, the wireless speeds (in select areas, such as ours) will be nearly broadband. Having played on a friends iPhone a couple weeks ago on an EDGE (2.5G) connection, I can say that the extra $10 is something I'll happily pay for faster, non-WiFi browsing.

Anonymous said...

I know amphibious was a little out there, but I was running out of "ous" words.

Hayduke said...

You just weren't looking hard enough. "Ous" abounds:

Noxious, scandalous, anxious, vicious, monstrous, audacious, vexatious, and (my favorite) caseous, meaning "cheese-like" or "cheesy."

These are just a few of more than 1200 "ous" words available here. Surely there are plenty more in that list that can be used to describe me. Let's get creative!

Freemarket said...

Anon, if it's not too much trouble, I'd like to request a haiku. Please see if you can squeeze in "carnivorous". Thanks!

HD: I hear you on the new features, but you are talking to a dude who argues with his dentist over the cost of novocain when getting a tooth pulled.

Hayduke said...

Ouch! Having had a cavity filled sans novocain, I am a firm believer that some things are worth the premium...

ribbit said...

HD- come on, you're smarter than that, even for an ambhibian. AT&T says that it's for faster broadband, but read between the lines: since AT&T will be paying Apple a share of the initial iPhone hardware sale, it only makes sense that they need to recoup that cost over time.

ribbit ribbit said...

Also, isn't the faster browsing due to a decrease in cost of the chip technology therefore allowing Apple to beef up the iphone speed, and not anything AT&T has done?

Hayduke said...

Froggy: Come on, now. What do you take me for, an uninformed geek/dork/amphibian? I dream about iPhones for goodness' sake.

AT&T and Apple had a revenue sharing deal worked out for the first generation iPhone, but that deal's been scrapped with this latest generation. The increase in monthly data costs really is a result of the faster 3G network, which AT&T has been feverishly working to expand all year.

And, bonus link, here's a post from my favorite gadget blog about their first hands on experience with the new device.

Anonymous said...

So are you admitting that you are "cheesy"?

Hayduke said...

I embraced my inner cheese a long time ago.

Anonymous said...

Cheesy doesn't end in "ous" though.

Anonymous said...

I thought of another one - "loquacious" - which loosely means talkative or wordy.

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