Tuesday, November 25, 2008

And I don't know what went wrong. I feel I don't belong. I just keep moving on.

Hayduke died last night.

This probably isn't particularly surprising to you or the spam-bots that still occasionally troll this blog for free, if pointless, advertising opportunities. Hayduke's demise has been a long time coming, starting over a year ago when I decided it would behoove me to further my career goals rather than blather endlessly about stuff on the internet.

Still, even as distractions and other priorities took his place and the time between posts grew from days to weeks to months, Hayduke persevered, if only as a muted shell of his former self. Looking back, I probably should have made a clean break earlier, but I couldn't/didn't until last night, when, with the help of some Ikea furniture, I let go.

The vast majority of the words on this blog were written at this desk.

I bought it around the same time I started this blog in the fall of 2005. Incidentally, I also bought the iMac around the same time. Together, the desk and the computer made up the Hayduke Command Center, which, tucked into little corners/closets of our home offices (first in the Kings Contrivance apartment and later in our Oakland Mills house), made for a lovely blogging oasis.

I did some of my best work at this desk. Certainly, it witnessed my most exciting and energizing moments as a writer. (I know, exciting and energizing are not usually associated with the act of writing, but whatever, it's – still! – my blog, bitches.)

I know the desk itself – the combination of pre-fabbed pieces of particale board and those crazy screw thingies Ikea uses – was not the source of whatever blogging acumen I may have possessed. It is, however, a physical reminder of a piece of my life that I really enjoyed.

And last night, it fell to pieces…

…with the assistance of a screwdriver and a hex key.

Just as I ran out of room in my life for blogging, my house ran out of room for the desk. There's a baby on the way, and when you only have 844 square feet and two bedrooms' worth of house, a large desk and an office become a luxury you can no longer afford. Which is perfectly fine by me. I'm happier than a pig in poop about the baby.

Nevertheless, as the pieces of the desk were undone and stacked against the vacant walls of the nursery-to-be, I felt pangs of loss for what once was. Alas.

It was fun, Hayduke. Maybe we'll do it again sometime.

That's the extent of the mourning you'll hear from me. I've got a nursery to finish, a wife to dote on, a dog to run with, a job to keep up, and a show to prepare for (Friday night, Michael's Pub, 9 pm, Pine Flood's world premier!), among all the other stuff.

Finally, to everyone who took the time to read this ridiculous thing, thanks. I had great time talking with you and hope to again soon. If you're interested in keeping tabs on me, you can find me on Facebook, where I'm now posting silly pictures of the dog.


Chris said...

first comment on the last post!

Karen Gray said...

Sorry to see your blog end. Although there haven't been many posts lately, I still check it frequently because I always enjoy your funny and thoughtful posts. Ah well, to look on the bright side side, I'll now save several seconds most days.

Congrats on beginning a new phase of your life.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't your brother want to blog? What about your mother?

There must be someone who can take the site. Loosing the history if the blog is taken down would be not good.

JessieX said...

Congratulations on all things new and wonderful in your life, Hayduke. And many thanks for your ever-so-intriguing and -inviting style of blogging. You helped me feel more confident and comfortable as a blogger, and I thank you. See you on Facebook, of course. And perhaps, like many others, perhaps you'll find yourself inextricably wound up in the wonders of Twitter.

Dave W said...


You were one of the originals out there in Howard County blogging with me and I am sorry to see you decide to shut it down. Whether I agreed with you or not, I always enjoyed reading your perspective on things. Even though you weren't posting anything, I still found myself clicking your website every morning in the hopes you might have posted something. As someone who has ratcheted down my own blogging due to more important and better things in life taking over, I can fully appreciate you doing the same.

Congratulations on the baby and I am sure I will see you around town in some way or another....

B. Santos said...


You and your perspective will be missed. Great to hear about the baby. Maybe sometime in the future we can meet at a tot lot, let the kids play.

macsmom said...

Yours was the first blog I ever followed regularly and I, too, have been visiting frequently in the hopes of something new. You clearly have found your something new. I'll miss your writing, but wish you joy!

Steve Fine said...

So long, sorry to see you go.


Tom said...

Family should always trump blogging.
Ask B Santos (or your wife). . .
Congratulations on the growing family. Wish you nothing but, a happy, well adjusted (sleeps through the night)baby.

wordbones said...

I guess I knew this was coming. I can understand your reluctance to let go but letting go and moving on is all part of life. Your blog inspired me to start blogging and it is through blogging that we became acquainted. For that I am grateful.

Best of luck to you as you enter into fatherhood. Being a parent is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I hope you find it just as rewarding.


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Best of luck. Don't buy the BS that Ulman is shoveling. Stay real.

Anonymous said...

Who is Tom Berkhouse going to spar with now?
Of course, ever since you took your "cushy political job" in what's his face's administration, you were less free to talk openly about hot button issues. When you're passionate about certain issues - as you are - I'm sure it's tough to not be able to participate in the discussion as much as you would probably like to. And, I'm sure you won't always agree with your boss's positions on issues either.

Have fun with fatherhood - it's a great adventure.

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This blog stopped being interesting once you went in the tank for Ulman.

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Basically, HCC has found a buyer for the property after a year-long search and that buyer will put the property on the tax rolls for the first time in its history.

The County Executive has been sitting on his approval for months hoping the buyer will lose interest, worse, the property will cost the College roughly $500,000 a year to keep in mothballs while he prevaricates. $500,000 a year would go a long way to close some of the budget gaps and save jobs.

Best wishes on the new, blog free life!

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