Should I go legit...

And have my carefully chosen words available for copying with silly putty? The Sun is holding open tryouts for community column writers. So let's see how I match up with their desires:

Are you the neighborhood switchboard - the one who's up on the latest doings at your PTA, congregation, senior center, health club or youth hangout? Are you always first in line at that new restaurant or quirky craft shop?

No and no, unless that new restaurant is something other than Macaroni Outback Cheesecake Uno Grill Steakhouse Factory Food Emporiums that characterize our "Dining Out" options in this county.

As part of The Sun's expanding coverage of Howard County neighborhoods, we are seeking writers to anchor a series of weekly community columns. Candidates should be plugged into the goings-on in their corner of the county, as well as have an eye for the kind of ultra-local news that causes a buzz when neighbors get together.

I guess I kind of fit the suit if you account for the fact that in my corner of the county the Safeway is a constant topic of discussion/griping.

Though no formal news background is necessary, applicants should be eager to engage the public...

I don't think you can call my news background "formal," but I was a reporter for a couple years.

What about engaging the public? I always respond to comments on this blog. So that's a yes.

Now here's where things get tricky.

...and able to meet a weekly deadline with clean, accurate and - above all - witty, news-filled copy.

Deadlines? No problem. Deadlines come and deadlines go, and no one really notices.

Clean? Um.

Accurate? What is accuracy, really? It's all subjective.

Witty? Next question, please.

News-filled? Okay, maybe it's not the job for me.

But you can apply by sending a short letter describing your "vision" for the column and a writing sample to this address:

Mark Bomster, Bureau Chief, Howard County
The Baltimore Sun
30 Corporate Center, Suite 820
10440 Little Patuxent Parkway
Columbia, Md., 21044

Don't be shy!